I haven’t written a Wednesday Wisdom post in a while, and since I’ve had an encouraging thought on my mind lately, this seems like the perfect time to share it.

First, you need to know that I’m a perfectionist. (Did you notice the word “perfect” in the sentence above?)

That doesn’t mean I am perfect or even that I want to be, but for some reason, it’s always been important to me to get things right.

You, too?

If so, you know what a drain that can be.

You spend hours on a project taking care of all the loose ends, but you fix two of them only to have four more pop up to take their places.

It’s been five years since you started your dissertation, but you still haven’t done enough research to get the job started, let alone done.

You won’t leave the house until you tear your closet apart to find that scarf that matches the teeny-tiny flecks of color in your shirt.

You toss out a freshly baked cake you made from scratch because it collapsed in the middle.

And you don’t even want to think about all those pictures you need to hang, because what kind of frames would you use? How will you decide what the order will be? Which wall is the best to display them?

Because of course, you want to get things right.

You want to have everything perfect.

Well, the other thing I need to tell you is, getting everything perfect is not always the answer.

I’m an author, and if I wait until I have every word perfect before I submit a manuscript, I’ll never have a finished book.

Sometimes we don’t accomplish a task or shoot for a goal because we’re afraid to try. We’re afraid of failing, of making ourselves look silly in front of other people, of having those people look down on us.

Psychologists have a method of helping people overcome those fears, and it involves performing an “intentional mistake.” I’m paraphrasing here, but the theory is that if you make the mistake and live to tell about it, the fear will no longer have the same hold over you.

I’ve heard stories of quilters and craftsmen who incorporate an error into each piece they produce.

Personally, I find the idea of deliberately making a mistake a little too stressful. 😉

There is also the method of using positive reinforcement to overcome a fear. That’s something I think I can live with – and something I can do for myself.

Every time I’m caught up in perfectionism, in getting things exactly write, I’m going to look myself in the eye in a mirror and say firmly, “Nobody’s perfect – including you.” That should help reduce some of my self-imposed pressure. It might even work for you, too.

Now, I swear to you when I typed that paragraph above, using “write” when I meant “right” was not an intentional mistake. And I confess my first instinct was to go back and fix it.

Instead, I went to find a mirror!

You might think about trying out one of the ideas above. Or if you’ve already found a way to beat perfectionism, share what works for you.

All my best,

Barbara