Last week we discussed a couple of tips about how to get a handle on your worry:
1. Write a comprehensive To-Do list and check it daily.
2. Set a timer for X number of minutes of worry. (I decided on five minutes.)
I don’t know about you, but those tips have been working for me.
Today, I want to focus more specifically on what we choose to worry about.
Here’s a quote I love:
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
The above is often attributed to the author Samuel Clemens, also known as Mark Twain. Whether Clemens actually said the words about himself or about the stories he created doesn’t make a bit of difference as far as I’m concerned.
What’s important is, I just know he meant those words for me. 
Maybe for you, too?
My husband always tells me I worry about things that will never happen. He’s right. And I expend a lot of energy and waste a lot of valuable time doing it. If you feel the same, I have a suggestion.
When you do sit down to do your worrying, ask yourself:
Is this something I can control?
Is this something that will matter to me next week? Next month? Next year?
Is this worth sacrificing any of the precious worry minutes I’ve allowed myself for today?
Honestly, I attempted to rank those questions in order of importance and found out that I couldn’t. Each one is critical in its own way, and each may speak differently to different people.
I hope one of those questions will be the spark you need to cut down even more on the time you spend worrying.
And if you have any other suggestions or tips, I hope you’ll share them here, too.
All my best to you,
I learned a long time ago that if it wasn’t within my power to change something, then don’t waste the energy worrying.
Pithy, but it works for me.
Hi Barbara,
I’m always worrying. Sometimes its about things I’ve forgotten to do or things I’ve yet to do, but the worst time for me is in the middle of the night when I wake up. My mind gloms onto one issue and often I can’t sleep again.
My solution is usually to write it down (duh!). Somehow when it’s on paper it no longer has the same power.
Dale
Barbara, Love the quote. I’m worrying about all the things I need to do. I guess I need to stop worrying and do them!
Barbara, great food for thought. I learned a long time ago not to worry about things I had no control over, which pretty much is most things. Hubby, on the other hand, worries if he doesn’t have anything to worry about. It drives him crazy when I won’t play his games with him, but I know if I ever let myself get to that level, I can’t eat or sleep.
The tips are good. I’m gonna print them out and hand them to him.
I, too, am a worry wart. I tend to imagine the worst case scenario (which rarely happens, I might add). I have two ways of dealing with my worry. I write in a journal every day. If there’s something that’s bothering/worrying me, I’ll journal about it. Sometimes for pages on end. Then usually, that gets me through the day. But sometimes, I need to add a “worry walk” at night. I’ll walk the dog around the neighborhood and will allow myself no more than 2x around (about 3/4 mile) to worry. After that, if I’m still walking, I have to think about something else (like the book I’m writing).
Margaret – pithy but perfect. Thanks for sharing!
Barbara
Dale – I’m with you–that’s why I recommend sitting down daily, purging your mind of all the To-Do tasks you can think of, and getting them onto paper.
I hope the technique helps cut down drastically on those thoughts that slip through during the night.
Good luck.
Barbara
Edie wrote: I guess I need to stop worrying and do them!
Edie – sounds like you’ve got a plan!
Good luck with it.
Barbara
Liz – hope the post is helpful to your husband.
Let me know how it goes!
Barbara
Becky – there’s a word for that kind of worry.
Catastrophizing.
When you think of the worst things that can happen, it makes what actually *does* happen seem so much better by comparison.
Your coping techniques sound great. You’ve got both the physical and mental issues covered.
Thanks for posting!
Barbara